Broken K Farms

Meet Sarge — Employee of the Year, Head of Security, & Farm Manager

Who are we kidding? He's the only employee

If you’ve visited the farm and felt like someone important was watching you… you were right. That was Sarge. As our official Head of Security, Sarge runs a tight ship (and a tighter fence line). His daily duties include perimeter patrol, suspicious squirrel surveillance, and conducting intense stare-downs with delivery drivers until they prove they’re friendly.

Promoted quickly through the ranks due to his unmatched dedication to barking at absolutely nothing at 2 AM, Sarge now also serves as Farm Manager. He oversees livestock operations, enforces nap schedules, and ensures no chicken commits unauthorized escape attempts. His management style is firm but fair — unless snacks are involved, in which case all policies are temporarily suspended.

Achievements include:

• 0 successful predator infiltrations
  
• 10,000+ tail wags logged
  
• 1 pair of boots mysteriously relocated daily
  
• Lifetime record holder for “Most Dramatic Sighs During Work Hours”
• Lots of hole digging and shop tool thefts
  

When he’s off duty, Sarge enjoys long walks around his kingdom, accepting compliments from visitors, and pretending he doesn’t like belly rubs (he does).

Security Status: Maximum

Professionalism: Questionable

Loyalty: Legendary

We couldn't do what we do without him!